When’s the last time you stepped out from behind your laptop and met someone in the real world? No, I don’t mean your neighbor or the barista who knows your “usual.” I’m talking about real in-person networking—the kind that makes your career take off, builds authentic connections, and maybe even gets you a free coffee at your next industry conference. There’s magic to be made here, friends, but it takes a bit of work as well.
Let’s be real: In-person networking can feel like a root canal for an introvert or an adrenaline rush for an extrovert (I’m somewhere in between, depending on the day). No matter where you fall on the spectrum, the benefits are undeniable. It’s about more than collecting business cards (which will inevitably live in the junk drawer of your desk); it’s about crafting meaningful relationships, learning from others, and being in the right room to make magic happen.
Whether you’re new to networking or a self-proclaimed pro, there are always new things to learn. And while it’s a little different to network when you’re looking for a job, with the right preparation, attitude, and tools, you’ll soon be on your way to building a robust network that will make a huge difference in your job search.
Where to Network: The Right Rooms Make All the Difference
First things first: Not all networking events are created equal. Some are buzzing hubs of opportunity, while others feel like an awkward middle-school dance with name tags. Stick to proven gold mines such as:
- BNI (Business Network International): With structured meetings and a focus on referrals, BNI is a great fit for professionals who value efficiency. There are thousands of chapters around the globe, and you can visit any or all of them. Check out BNI.
- LeTip: Similar to BNI but a little less formal, LeTip is perfect for those who want a relaxed yet results-driven environment. Visit LeTip.
- Chambers of Commerce: Whether you’re local or traveling, chambers are a treasure trove of movers and shakers in your community. You can look for chambers on the Chamber of Commerce Directory or US Chamber Directory. You can also try searching “[city] chamber” on Google.
- Alumni Associations: Your alma mater isn’t just good for football games; it’s a built-in networking group that already shares something in common with you. Look for regional chapters, especially if you’re in a large metropolitan area.
- Industry and Professional Organizations: Find groups tailored to your field where you can meet likeminded individuals, who will undoubtedly know about upcoming job openings. The Directory of Associations is a good place to start, as is Google.
The key is to choose events where your ideal connections are likely to be. Don’t just go where you’re comfortable; go where the opportunities live.
Get Your Head in the Game
Networking isn’t about “schmoozing.” It’s about showing up as your best self. To be effective, you have to get over your dislike of small talk and adopt an attitude of curiosity and generosity. A smile is a good start.
When you approach networking with the goal of learning about others instead of just pitching yourself, good things happens. Think of it like this: You’re Sherlock Holmes, solving the mystery of what makes people tick. What do they need? What are their passions? How can you help? Reciprocity is powerful, and when you lead with, “How can I help you?” you’ll find that you’ll get a lot of support in return. There’s a reason people say, “You can catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.”
Set a Goal (Hint: It’s Not About Collecting the Most Business Cards)
Be honest: Have you ever left a networking event feeling exhausted and wondering if you accomplished anything? That’s what happens when you try to meet everyone in the room. If the room has 10 people, you’re all set, but what if it has 500? You’ll kill yourself and not have much to show for your efforts. Also, do NOT press business cards or your resume into the palms of everyone you meet. This is the equivalent of that proverbial vinegar I previously mentioned.
Instead of running around the room like a chicken with your head cut off, focus on forming three to five meaningful connections. Have conversations that go beyond the standard “What do you do?” and aim to find common ground. Ask meaningful questions, share your interests, and be a little vulnerable. These quality interactions will lead to opportunities faster than spreading yourself too thin.
Bring a Wingman (or Wingwoman)
Just as prospecting a date can be easier with a buddy by your side, networking is less daunting—and a whole lot more fun—with a companion. A good networking partner can:
- Introduce you to people they know.
- Rescue you when you’re stuck in a painfully awkward MLM pitch (more on that later).
- Debrief with you afterward to help you strategize next steps.
Choose a networking partner who complements your strengths. If you’re shy, team up with someone outgoing. If you’re a talker, bring a person who can keep you focused. While you may be inclined to pair up with a fellow job seeker, that’s not a requirement. Just be sure you and your friend don’t sit in the corner only talking to each other; that defeats the whole purpose of networking.
Perfect Your Networking Commercial
“What do you do?” It’s the one question everyone will ask. Do not be the person who stumbles over their answer or launches into a 10-minute monologue. No one wants a laundry list of everything you do, have done, or can do. They also most certainly don’t want to listen to, “I just got laid off. . .” Yuck. Be positive, focused, and forward thinking.
Before you head to your next networking event, start thinking about how you can answer this first question you’ll be asked. For a job seeker, a great response is:
“I’m currently looking for a position as [position], and I’m targeting [company/industry].”
When you include where you want to work, in addition to what you do, you’ll help the people you meet start to mentally pull contacts from their database who could be good introductions.
When afforded the opportunity to give an actual “commercial,” be ready to speak for 20–30 seconds. You can start with the above and then add value by stating your experience or a great accomplishment you had.
Make a Great, Tactful Getaway
No matter how much fun you’re having or how great the conversation is, you’ll eventually need to get away. This is especially true if you’re falling into a black hole with a person who is not your ideal connection. Having a strategy is the key to getting away without burning any bridges. A great statement is:
“It’s been a pleasure chatting with you, but I know we’re both here to meet people, so I’m going to make another round, and you should do the same. If you have a card, I’m happy to follow up with you on LinkedIn.”
No reason to make it weird. Direct and clear is the best route to take.
The MLM Situation: Turn “No Thanks” into a Networking Win
I’m not going to lie to you: When networking, you will run into MLM folks, aka direct marketing people. You know the ones: They’re repping Avon, Mary Kay, Melaleuca, or some other company. They LOVE meeting job seekers because they have an amazing “opportunity” that will put millions of dollars in your bank account.
If you’re interested in jumping into an MLM, by all means, pull up a chair and learn more. If that’s not your cup of tea, however, there’s no need to be rude to these well-meaning networkers. Just turn the tables in your favor. Remember, most MLMers have large networks that can be a huge boon for your job search. Simply say:
“Thank you, but I’m really looking for a job at the moment. I’m guessing you know a lot of people, given what you do. If you know someone in [industry], that would be a great introduction for me. And who would you like to meet?”
Who knows? They might introduce you to your next boss—and you might be able to help them as well.
In-Person Networking Is for Naught without Follow-Up
The most critical step in in-person networking isn’t what happens at the event, it’s what happens after. You may have the best conversation while networking, but I guarantee you’ll be forgotten by the time they’re back at the office. However, you have the power to change that! Here’s your three-part follow-up plan:
- Send a thank-you email. Keep it short, mention something specific from your conversation, and remind them of what you’re looking for in your job search. If appropriate, suggest a Zoom or coffee meeting.
- Connect on LinkedIn. Personalize the request with something like, “Hi [Name]. I enjoyed chatting about [topic] at [event]. I’d love to stay connected.”
- Stay in touch. Don’t be a one-and-done networker! Share relevant articles, congratulate your new connections on wins, or invite them to future events that might interest them.
Networking is about building relationships, not collecting LinkedIn connections.
In-Person Networking Isn’t Rocket Science, but It Is a Skill
As with any skill, networking gets better with practice. Show up, be authentic, and remember: It’s not about impressing everyone in the room; it’s about forming genuine connections that benefit both sides. With the right attitude, some winning approaches, and consistent follow-up, you’ll soon build your network, make new friends and connections, and perhaps land your next job offer.
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