Interviewing is hard. But let me let you in on a little secret: interviewing for mid-level and executive roles can be harder. Why? Because leaders are typically Type-A, take-charge kinds of folks. They’re used to being the interviewer, not the interviewee, and they can have challenges giving up control in the two-way conversations that are part of a successful meeting. That’s why executive interview prep can vary a bit from the average, run-of-the-mill preparation most job seekers need.
You’re in the right place if you’ve not moved forward in the interview process and been told:
- “You might be a little too driven for our culture.”
- “We appreciate your leadership skills, but we need someone in this role who’s focused on collaboration.”
- “Our team found your communication style to be somewhat intense.”
I have zero doubt that you are qualified and capable, but when you act as many high-level leaders do and head into an interview “guns blazing,” it can turn people off. Ironically, the skills that set you apart in a great way can also—for lack of a better word—scare hiring managers. These include:
- Confidence
- Preparedness
- Decisiveness
Your ability to immediately add value is awesome—and intimidating.
No, you don’t need to soften your leadership qualities or dial down your ambition. But you may need to refine your approach so that you come across as collaborative and thoughtful, especially in those early conversations. The key here is not to focus on whether or not you can lead but, rather, why people want to follow you.
What Interviewers Are Really Evaluating
Senior-level interviews are subtle. They’re less about checking boxes and more about reading signals. Interviewers can see from your resume and/or LinkedIn profile that you have the experience. You can clearly do the job, but will you fit with what they need? That’s the real question they’re trying to answer.
Interviewers are listening for:
- Judgment: Do you pause before responding or rush to conclusions?
- Presence: Are you fully engaged or mentally racing ahead?
- Curiosity: Do you seek to understand before you lead?
- Adaptability: Can you flex your style depending on the room?
- Cultural intelligence: Especially critical for global or matrixed roles.
One client of mine—an exceptionally capable leader—was told after an international interview that he came across as “too American.” He was a bit flummoxed because he was thinking about the perception that Americans have in relation to our current president. But it wasn’t at all about politics. He was clearly able to do the job (and then some), but his pace, tone, and approach to conversation was what turned them off.
Another client, a go-getter who was aiming for a role overseeing a diverse team, answered the question about her leadership style with the fact that she is a high-driving manager who works until the project is complete and expects her teams to do the same. The hiring team passed, presumably fearing that she would take the role and shake things up a little too much.
Both of these are lovely people, very caring about their teams, and immensely qualified. They didn’t really do anything wrong, but with both, we needed to work on “softness.” Instead of leading the interview with their professional drive, it would be better to shift to their people abilities first. After all, we hire people we like, and we like people who are nice and supportive.
Listen More; Talk Less
In an interview setting, if you are an executive, you’ll be inclined to steer the conversation. It’s just part of your DNA to take charge, and I get it. You’re used to being in a leadership role, which requires moving quickly, solving problems, making decisions, and keeping conversations moving. Unfortunately, that also means leaders tend to talk a bit more than they listen—and that’s the dynamic we want to shift for executive interview prep.
In most screening interviews, you’ll get asked to “tell me about yourself,” salary is discussed, and you’ll hear a bit about the job or the company. But that’s not often the case for executive interviews. Here, they know you can do the job, they understand a bit about you, and they often disclosed the salary in the job description. Instead, recruiters and hiring managers use that initial meeting to find out:
- What would it feel like to work with you?
- Do you listen before acting?
- Can you collaborate across styles, cultures, and levels?
- Will you create space for others? Or dominate the room?
To put this simply: In an interview, you aren’t in charge; you’re an active participant.
Participating isn’t about talking and taking a leadership role. You don’t have to prove that you’re smart and capable; you need to show that you’re engaged. That means taking turns, listening, asking thoughtful questions, and not doing all the talking, which may come off as boastful.
Listening Is a Leadership Skill
If you’re a job seeker at a senior level, listening isn’t interpreted as passivity. It’s interpreted as confident, respectful of others’ perspectives, and a sign of emotional intelligence. And it’s not just me saying this. One study points out that strong listening skills:
- Build self-esteem in the person who’s speaking.
- Lead to a cooperative conversation.
- Create a space where difficult, complex, and emotional issues can be discussed.
When you listen more in interviews, you showcase your ability to lead through influence rather than merely authority. And that means you’ll come across as a team player, which is a good thing—especially for teams that have lived through command-and-control leadership before.
Executive Interview Prep: Talk Less Without Losing Authority
Influence is great and all, but how does one show leadership skills while minimizing talking during an interview? It’s not about not not talking; it’s about being more mindful and present.
Here are some things you can do to stay present while not taking charge (and these work in interviews and life):
Pause before answering
Silence may feel uncomfortable, but it can also be perceived as thoughtfulness. When asked a question, take a breath before responding.
Limit your answers
It’s funny how executive interview prep is so different from that for, say, an entry-level candidate. With them, it’s often akin to pulling teeth to get them to share accomplishment stories. On the flip side, executives tend to want to share everything. They not only answer the question that’s specifically been asked, but they’re also inclined to answer the question they think is coming next as well as the one they wish had been asked. A simple, 2- to 3-minute answer is now 10 minutes long. And there’s no room—or time, even—for conversation.
Trust that, f the interviewer wants to know more, they’ll ask. And if you’re unsure, ask them, “Would you like me to share more about that?”
Ask clarifying questions
Assumptions have no place in an interview. It’s fine (and expected) to ask questions and get clarity. Questions like these show that you’re a strategic thinker who wants to partner with the team:
- “When you say growth, what does success look like in the first year?”
- “Can you tell me more about the team dynamics you’re hoping to improve?”
Mirror their style and use active listening
Perhaps one of the hardest things for a Type-A individual to do is mirror the other person’s behavior. But honestly, it could be the thing that makes you more likable and approachable. Even better is when you use a common therapy skill: summarize and repeat:
- “It sounds as if you’re saying . . .”
- “What I’m hearing you say is . . .”
Not only will you demonstrate your active-listening skills, you’ll help ensure alignment.
Write things down
Like you, I had to remember to stay present in conversations. I used to always be thinking ahead about what I wanted to share—and that meant I wasn’t listening as closely as I should have been. Here’s a tip to use when in an important conversation, such as an interview: Write down what you want to say or ask and then let it go.
If you’re in an in-person setting, have a notebook at the ready. For a virtual interview, keep a Word/Google doc open. Jot down your thoughts and then refer to them when it really is your turn to speak. And sometimes, those notes turn out to be something you don’t even need to discuss because you were present and the conversation went a different direction.
Why Executive Interview Prep Is So Vital
Whether you’re currently a mid-level manager looking to move up, or you’re interviewing with the board of directors for the CEO position, leadership is really about collaboration. You won’t need to prep all those standard interview questions. Instead, you’ll want to share accomplishments stories about how you’ve added value, whether by adding revenue, saving money, improving processes, mitigating risks, or supporting people. In your executive-level interview, your goal will be to demonstrate that you:
- Support others and engage them in the journey.
- Listen and consider options before acting.
- Create a space where collaboration and innovation thrive.
You’ll go a long way to demonstrating your ability to do these things when you show your empathetic leadership skills. I can almost guarantee you that the hiring committee won’t thinking “What a strong leader!” They’re busy wondering “What would it be like to work with this person every day?” Make it easy for them to see that it would be a positive for you to be their leader.
Leadership Skills Come through Naturally
Sure, you might be asked in an interview, “Describe your leadership style.” And you may be able to answer that question with no problem. But are you also demonstrating it? Great leaders are reflective, kind, and engaged (if you haven’t already, I suggest you read Leaders Eat Last by Simon Sinek). They put others before themselves. And they think before they speak.
Perhaps your grandparents told you: “There’s a reason we have two ears and one mouth.” When you listen twice as much as you talk, you’ll find that interviews have more positive outcomes. Relationships come easier. People see you as supportive, caring, and empathetic.
Believe me; I know it’s hard. I struggle with this concept most days. Perhaps this oft-stated, not-clearly-attributed quote sums up this idea best: “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” By leveraging your leadership skills to focus on your listening and caring, you’ll embark on executive interview prep that will make a world of difference in your outcomes.
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